The Eleventh of December 2013

Dear Christopher,

This is weird, I haven’t written to you anonymously in a long time. I used to have a different blog for you, but I decided it needed a fresh start. I can honestly say that today I feel closer to you than ever before, we have been dating for over three years, been to Hell and back, taken a break, and now that we are together, I wouldn’t have wanted it to play out any other way. I’ll have to admit that sometimes, when i’m sitting here alone trying to fall asleep in your spot on my bed, or absentmindedly watching TV, I get scared. I’m so afraid of losing you in the abrupt way that you were ripped from me before that i’m almost paranoid. I’m getting better, trusting you more and more everyday, and it feels so good. You honestly make me the best me.

I dont know if i’ve ever said this, but I am very proud of you. You have become such an amazing person and I am thrilled that I was able to watch you grow in the over three years that I have been able to be blessed with you in my life. Even though I complain about it sometimes, I love when you get protective and jealous over me. That more than anything makes me realize how truly afraid you are for another guy to catch my attention. However, I want you to know that no guy could ever capture my attention quite like you. Do you remember when we first started talking. I do, like it was almost yesterday. You had those goofy ass blue and yellow laces tied like checkerboards on your ....black? nike shoes. Looking back now, you looked ridiculous, but boy did I love it. And when you asked me to wear your jersey you better believe that I was the happiest person on this whole entire planet. I loved the attention of everyone asking me “Who’s jersey is that?!” and I loved being able to proudly respond “Chris Armstrong!”. I’m serious, I don’t think I stopped smiling that entire Friday.

So, I guess that’s the day that I first started falling for you.

So how was my day?

It was a half day at school, so that was a good start. It was horribly boring, however, but that’s always the case. Is it sad to say that I wish my teachers gave me more work? I just sit around class all day and I have nothing to do and it makes school just DRAG on. I think the only thing pulling me through this week is the fact that I get to see you this weekend. I absolutely cannot wait for you to be back in your spot on my bed and body is back in its spot right up against yours. I wish I could be married to and living with you, starting our family and life together right now, but I know that we’ll get there eventually, and we’ll have forever to live it out.

I hope your day was amazing.

Sleep good tonight Googliebear.

MAHHHHHHHHHH!